Trauma and the Child

Recently, I took a course on Trauma Informed Coaching (TIC) run by The Centre for Healing (by Ryan Hassan and Matt Nettleton) which resonated with my personal as well as coaching discoveries over the past few years. This course takes a step-by-step journey through the experience of trauma, broken down into the modules below:

• Module 1: Introduction

• Module 2: Types of Trauma

• Module 3: The Effects of Trauma

• Module 4: Recognising Trauma

• Module 5: Foundations as a Trauma Informed Coach

• Module 6: Emotions

• Module 7: Trauma and the Subconscious

First off, this course was free, which is a rare find among the hundreds of coaching courses out there. I would like to thank Ryan and Matt for spending their time to make this quality course and to offer it for free to build more awareness of a subject that applies to everyone in some form. Secondly, the course itself kept me engaged throughout the 42 lessons because of the information and conversational approach Ryan and Matt took. Lastly, the simple, clear delivery of the content made the course easy to understand when summarizing such a complex topic.

Quoting one of my favourite experts in this space, “Trauma isn’t what happens to you, it is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you” - Gabor Mate. This experience(s) can happen at any age but usually there is a core belief that is embedded deep in our minds that goes back to early childhood, even to time in the womb. From then on any time we are ‘triggered’ or in a situation that reminds us of this experience, we react, subconsciously and default to whatever protective measures we learned in order to ‘save’ ourselves. The focus of the course as well as this blog is on childhood related trauma however it may touch or relate to other forms of trauma as well. One main aspect of trauma is that trauma can’t just be willed away through sheer mental force or will power. 

Case in point, Shirley (name changed for example), who is 40 years old now, said she had been focused on her wellbeing since young adulthood. She had a rigid routine of exercise and meditation that she credited with helping her stay healthy, reduce her mood swings and overcome bouts of depression. What she couldn’t understand was why she still felt overwhelmed at times and even worse, screamed aggressively at her husband and children without cause. Her intentions, wellbeing routines and promises to never do it again fell apart regularly even when she was in the best of moods a moment before. Through a few sessions, Shirley came to realize that she had acted like this most of her life. By bringing awareness to her childhood, Shirley realized that she was the one who had to manage her emotions in order to keep peace in a house with two very unhappy and emotionally immature parents. She realized that she was just recreating her parents relationship. Through this understanding, self forgiveness and having a safe place to share her experiences, Shirley was able to improve her relationships with not just her husband and children but her parents as well. This story isn’t the end of course, happily ever after is just for fairly tales but the journey, the experience is one that society is slowly beginning to understand and appreciate. 

The types and effects of trauma are as unique as the individual however there are some similarities that allow trauma to be grouped into categories. At a high level there are acute incidents such as physical assault or chronic adversity where over a period of time, potentially years, the traumatic event is repeated. What makes the experience traumatic is how your body interprets the event. That helps to explain why someone could have an irrational fear of clowns (because they were scared once at a birthday party) or be an advocate for peace when fighting is an easier response. Regardless of the type or the trigger, the effect trauma has on the body or the soma, goes deeper and is more powerful than the conscious, rational part of our mind. Though the term reptile brain is used in the course, its meaning is that the automated systems within the central nervous system are engaged, triggering a sympathetic (fight or flight) or the parasympathetic (fear or fawn) nervous system response.

The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) was created to help humans or other species react quickly to defend themselves or run away from a perceived threat. Especially in our childhood, or even in the womb, we pick up SNS signals from emotional experiences as well. The parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) triggers a calming effect whereby we have the ability to freeze (deer in a headlight) or fawn where we respond by trying to please or appease the threat away. The systems are interdependent and responses may have a mix of responses but the takeaway is that it is an unintentional, instinctual response that overpowers the conscious mind and is meant to protect us. 

Humans tend to focus and judge on the superficial personalities and interactions of themselves and others instead of looking below the surface. With Jim, he looked like the poster child of success, of power and he liked it. He expected others to follow his directions, whether it was his wife or his employees. When someone questioned his authority, he would immediately react to this ‘threat’ by putting the other person down or by talking over them to assert his authority. This made Jim very successful according to society's values because success, however achieved was celebrated. Jim’s wife, Ella on the other hand was miserable and shut down for fear of being ‘wrong’ or tried her best to ‘make Jim happy’. Jim seemed to have narcissistic traits and his actions, though coming from a place of protection, were still unacceptable. However, if looking back to Jim’s childhood, Jim came from an abusive home where to show emotions, to show love, was considered a sign of weakness. Jim learned from childhood that to be safe, he needed to have power over others. Jim’s wife came from a fairly stable house in comparison but her parents depended on each other emotionally and craved connection even when it came with hurt. Both Jim and Ella found what they needed in their relationship, not to thrive but to survive. Jim, hopefully comes to realize this toxic defence mechanism and Ella sees her freeze/fawn response to Jim and is able to pull herself out of this negative cycle.

What became very apparent in this course is that whether it’s a drug addict, a CEO, a political leader, a soldier, or any other manifestation of the human experience, trauma is a spectrum and most people are on it. PTSD, anxiety, ADD, childhood trauma, generational trauma or what I’ll call species trauma is starting to get recognition without an immediate response of prescription medications. Though medications are a needed part of the process, they won’t address the root cause. Hope this overview was an informative an insightful personal view of the TIC course as well as insights into the experience of trauma. Additionally, I have asked chatGPT to provide a summary of the TIC course for your reference. If interested in hearing more about the various courses and certifications offered, please access them through my affiliate link.

ChatGPT:

“Trauma, a pervasive aspect of human experience, profoundly influences mental and emotional well-being. The Centre for Healing in Australia offers a comprehensive Trauma-Informed Coaching video course, consisting of seven modules that delve into the intricate facets of trauma and its impact. Let's explore the key takeaways from each module:

Module 1: Introduction

The course commences with a foundational understanding of trauma, emphasizing its prevalence and the necessity for a trauma-informed approach. Recognizing trauma's ubiquity sets the stage for a compassionate and informed coaching practice.

Module 2: Types of Trauma

Delving deeper, the second module categorizes various types of trauma, from acute incidents to chronic adversity. Understanding these distinctions is pivotal for tailoring coaching strategies to individual needs and experiences.

Module 3: The Effects of Trauma

This module sheds light on the profound effects trauma can have on mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Coaches learn to recognize the diverse manifestations of trauma, fostering empathy and attunement to clients' unique struggles.

Module 4: Recognizing Trauma

Building on the previous modules, this section equips coaches with the skills to identify signs of trauma in their clients. Heightened awareness enables timely intervention, creating a safe space for healing.

Module 5: Foundations as a Trauma Informed Coach

Establishing a solid foundation is crucial for effective coaching. This module explores the principles and ethical considerations inherent in trauma-informed coaching, emphasizing safety, trust, and empowerment.

Module 6: Emotions

Understanding the intricate relationship between trauma and emotions is pivotal for effective coaching. This module delves into the nuanced ways trauma influences emotional experiences, equipping coaches to navigate this terrain with sensitivity.

Module 7: Trauma and the Subconscious

The final module explores the deep connection between trauma and the subconscious mind. Coaches gain insights into how trauma shapes thought patterns, beliefs, and behaviors, allowing for targeted interventions to promote healing.

The Centre for Healing's Trauma-Informed Coaching course goes beyond theory, offering practical tools and strategies for coaches to apply in their practice. By completing this program, coaches emerge with a profound understanding of trauma and the skills needed to support clients on their healing journey.”